As humans, we struggle with fleshly emotions and desires every day. We are constantly waging a war inside of us against our flesh and our spirit. We allow our flesh to overcome more than we usually like to admit too. We think about all the people in the Bible who won their battles. Daniel was kept safe from being eaten by lions in the den. Noah was spared the flood. Shadrach, Meshech and Abendego were spared in the fiery furnace by God’s protection and so many more.. Then comes the question What about me? We think why am I not being protected like they were? Why has God forgotten about me?
I find myself struggling with this question far more than I want to admit it, but part of me writing this blog; is to be vulernable and raw to my readers, so here it is. Life is hard. It is filled with so many uncertainties and right when you think everything is going perfectly BAM there’s a wrench thrown in. The enemy takes these moments while we are weak and fleshly to whisper even more doubts and fears into our hearts. He tells us your turn isn’t coming. You wont win. You can’t handle it anymore. Lies upon lies upon lies. Yet, we humans are weak in our flesh so we tend to believe the father of lies more than we should.
Anxiety and worry can exacerbate the feeling of “what about me” and believe me I know it is WAY easier said than done to “let go and Let God” but that’s exactly what we need to do. We can’t constantly keep asking “what about me” as hard as it is for me to even speak these words out loud to myself. The Bible tells us over and over to trust in God, give your burdens to Him and to NOT FEAR; but that’s the exact opposite thing we usually do. Why is that? One answer could be human nature. Another could be the enemy. The answer doesn’t really matter, what matters is that we STOP. Stop allowing the whispers to overcome us. Stop thinking that because someone else got their victory that yours isn’t coming. Stop. Stop. Stop.
During my trial of infertility and now being a foster to adopt parent, I’ve learned that God isn’t intentionally blessing others with children and not blessing me. It isn’t becuase of anything I am or am not doing. The answer is simply becuase His plan is different than mine. His timing is different than my idea of when it should happen. When I feel the fear and panic attacks creeping up, I have learned to speak the power of the name of Jesus against them, even if its a million times a day before the anxiety leaves. I keep speaking Jesus. I keep diving into His word. I keep telling myself He’s in control, even if in that moment of weakness I can’t believe it, I keep saying it because I know in my spirit it is true.
So, I said all of this so that it can help you. You may feel like you’re in a pit of despair and no one hears your cries. You may feel like your blessings skip over you and always go to the next person. I want you to know that that’s simply not true. You have a Father in Heaven that loves you! He loves you so much that He died for you! He made a way for you, yes YOU to be able to spend all eternity with Him forever and ever. Remeber this, when you’re crying those tears on your pillow every night wondering if they’re all in vain. Remember this when you find yourself asking multiple times a day “what about me”. He chose you for this particular trial that you’re facing and I promise you He will be with you through to the very end. When it is all over you will look back on all that pain and understand why He chose you to walk through it. It will be worth it in the end. Xoxo